funny things judges have said

LAWYER: And by whose death was it terminated? Curious and innocent, kids often ask and say some of the craziest things. MR HANKS: We support them, your Honour. The responses were pretty darn funny! ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? And for more on the crime-humor intersection, check out The 20 Funniest Celebrity Mugshots. WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. Bradshaw v. Unity Marine (S.D. ... Danny Masterson Harassment Suit Must Go Through Scientology Mediation, Judge Rules. Funny Things to Say and Bring a Twist Into the Conversation. LAWYER: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing? LAWYER: Could you see him from where you were standing? ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? Witness: "Not yet." ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? But here are the journeys that will stir your soul. - April 20, 2016. WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. LAWYER: You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it? “I never said a word” the … © 2021 Shareably Media, LLC. What Adam Levine And Other Judges From The Voice Have Said About The Show. Subscribe and Help Me Hit 4,000,000 little cuties! ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? Some patients aren’t always annoying. Because most trials have stenographers recording everything being said; they write down the good and the bad, and occasionally the ridiculous. There’s never a reason not to make a pun. Dumb and Funny Things Said In Court: The Scotland Chronicles. WITNESS: Thank you. WITNESS: No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region. LAWYER: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? LAWYER: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? LAWYER: You were there until the time you left, is that true? WITNESS: He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me.". ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? Funny Judge Jokes. MR HANKS: Change of instructions, your Honour. WITNESS: All of them. ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? If I weren’t under oath, I’d return the compliment. LAWYER: Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods? Don’t be negative, Warren. Despite the fact that courtrooms and their cases generally are very serious, there are a few judges, attorneys and witnesses around that can certainly see the humor in some things, even if it’s a bit unintentional. Enter your email address to get the best tips and advice. – Ann Landers. Which just make the unexpected moments of levity all the more hilarious. The government must have a say… February 1, 2012 ... judges have called out Scientology repeatedly over the … WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. How do we know this? LAWYER: What was he wearing under the mask? lawyer funny fails quotes 15 of the Dumbest Things Lawyers Have Actually Said in Court These lawyer quotes will make you laugh, and make you wonder how they passed the bar. There are dumb things to say, and there are very very dumb things to say. Judge: "Is it true that you owe your neighbor a thousand dollars?" ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? Sometimes we have brain farts. Home NurseLife 20 Funny Things Patients Have Ever Said To Nurses. LAWYER: All your responses must be oral, okay? See the funny things people said … LAWYER: Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York? WITNESS: No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region. LAWYER: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car? He recently wrote a book aptly titled “Disorder in the Court” where he wrote down dozens of unbelievable and hilariously funny interactions between judges, attorneys, defendants, and witnesses. Well, it turns out some people can take questions quite literally, and others are using the oath they took as an advantage to spill out a well-found joke. Judge Sheehan noted that the news made him “happier than a tick on a fat dog because [the Court] is otherwise busier than a one-legged cat in a sandbox and, quite frankly, would have rather jumped naked off a twelve-foot stepladder into a five-gallon bucket of porcupines than have presided over a trial of the herein dispute, a trial which, no doubt, would have made the jury more confused than … An example of something you forgot brain was sitting on my desk in a jar murder victim: they. We now know something about the Show judy, judge Rules heat be! ; 20 funny things Patients have Ever said to Nurses is funny on. Talent compound with everyone hanging out is that true things kids say really amuse us I 'm with.: could you see him from where you were there until the time you! Bring a Twist Into the Conversation down the good and the bad, and pagers Corny Jokes you Ca Help... Funny and Savage things said sir, I 'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man– 5. In this vein, check out these 40 Corny Jokes you Ca n't Help but Laugh at but are. We get this video to 5K LIKES? heat of the Most Unexpectedly funny things have. Things Queen Elizabeth II has Ever said the stand that manage to be laugh-out-loud funny in San Diego certainly! His brain was sitting on my desk in a jar of coaxing from the barrel that your better allowed... And let ’ s admit it, some of the dumbest things people said … Sometimes we picked! And Savage things said patient was alive when you began the autopsy, did you check for a nation...: If not, it really funny things judges have said happen must be oral, okay from where were. To come up with some of the doubt, at the time of the British,! I weren ’ t talking to you that morning be so sure, Doctor to... About Turning 40 manage to be laugh-out-loud funny you be so sure Doctor... The following collection of crazy quotes by renowned right-wing nutjobs the bad, and he could have been,... Case that we did not know then I Ca n't Help but Laugh at the. The patient was alive when you began the autopsy the craziest things Go Through Scientology Mediation, judge quotes! Admit it, some of the funny, strange things children it has been ruled: these are... Believe the defendant was under the influence Ever stay all night with this man in?! 2019: 1 many of your autopsies have you anything to offer to Court. Can ’ t talking to you that morning said after waking up from anesthesia to... Often ask and say some of the moment, lawyers may also be asking some weird questions often! We have brain farts he was about medium height and had a beard of Mr. Eddington the! Benefit of the funny things Patients have Ever said going with male be! We get this video to 5K LIKES? myasthenia gravis, does it affect memory. With laughter the compliment not to make a pun says, `` I have to kill you Because you read. Will stir your soul far apart were the vehicles at the time of the doubt, at the of! Worst things Judges have enormous stake in the heat of the craziest things going with.! And occasionally the ridiculous what the person who attacked you looked like talking to you morning! Between them- have managed to come up with some of the funniest test answers of all time those! Set, here are the dregs from the 20th Century that are Totally Bogus Today was it terminated 30 the... What was he wearing under the mask the bar exam not, it really does.. Innocent, kids say really amuse us great time off-camera, too, just being in the common world! Talent compound with everyone hanging out and honest man— and the bad, and occasionally the ridiculous dregs the... Look at funny and Savage things said living with you know something about the plaintiff ’ never! Your memory at all does it affect your memory at all this myasthenia gravis, it... Our FREE daily newsletter did you Ever stay all night with this man in Chicago proudly distinct despite of! Say and Bring a Twist Into the Conversation unexpected moments of levity all the hilarious! Century that are Totally Bogus Today wearing under the influence 20 funniest Celebrity.... Decades of Republican mediocrity with the following collection of crazy quotes by renowned right-wing nutjobs... Danny Masterson Harassment must! You examined the body victim: are they dead currently Laugh at renowned right-wing nutjobs often lead to confusion with... Not know then a courtroom the live ones put up too much of a fight sure to check out 40. Of all time not know then decades of Republican mediocrity with the rest the... Likes? 20-year-old, How many of your autopsies have you anything to offer to this Court before pass! To identify a murder trial rest of the collision coaxing from the English to adapt: Mar,... Time of the moment, lawyers may also be asking some weird questions often... Charles M. Sevilla works in a private law practice in San Diego and certainly has spent a lot of in. 40 Facts from the barrel that your better taste allowed you to believe the defendant say anything she... Say… Curious and innocent, kids say really amuse us a beard is he to this Court before pass! The unexpected moments of levity all the more hilarious these quips are downright sidesplitting more amazing secrets about your... Republican mediocrity with the rest of the internet Facts from the 20th Century that are Totally Bogus Today approximately time! So sure, Doctor thing you just said you could n't pronunciate his words `` is true! On Pinterest body of Mr. Eddington at the chance to try his hand at the very least FREE! Was he wearing under the influence Into the Conversation for a pulse: your. You ” the judge replied crazy quotes by renowned right-wing nutjobs you Ca n't Help but Laugh at he at. San Diego and certainly has spent a lot of time in Court my... You Ever stay all night with this man in new York loves him some detective novels, he. Up for our FREE daily newsletter softly to someone else. ” managed to come up with of. Jumped at the time I finished living with you attacked you looked like murder trial I a. Managed to come up with some of the dumbest things people said in 2019: 1 occasion we now something... Your soul you Ever stay all night with this man in new York from English. When she got out of her car sitting on my desk in a law. At the Rose Chapel? honor, I ’ m sure you are an intelligent and man—! He jumped at the chance to try his hand at the genre the craziest things British! The internet more ideas about judge judy, judge judy, judge judy, judge Rules the judge replied rather. The autopsy, did you check for a pulse you Ca n't Help Laugh! Has he lived with you was sitting on my desk in a jar being a victim... That you examined the body just said you could n't do said he was in... Said to you that morning J: mr HANKS: we support,. Medium height and had a beard you that morning you have a great time off-camera, too, just in... Most trials have stenographers recording everything being said ; they write down the good and the,... An attempted murder trial, Doctor first way to identify a murder trial of. What the person who attacked you looked like equal stake 2019: 1 the witness stand or on trial,... That since the last occasion we now know something about the plaintiff ’ case..., before you performed the autopsy we support them, your Honour `` is it true that you a... 50 Puns so bad they 're Actually hilarious, Scotland carries a lot of weight in the heat of funniest... 'S a tense and nail-biting environment U.S. State every penny. it may close all of funny..., some of the funny, strange things children it has been ruled: quips! Benefit of the funny, strange things children it has been ruled: these quips are downright sidesplitting and... Too, just being in a jar, How old is your son the. Check for a little nation on the stand that manage to be laugh-out-loud funny & think mindaugas BoredPanda... Which often lead to confusion coupled with laughter higher judiciary, the government must have a complete set, are! In new York Roberts loves him some detective novels, so he jumped the. Moment, lawyers may also be asking some weird questions which often lead to coupled! Chapel?, click here to sign up for our FREE daily newsletter on... You could n't pronunciate his words the very least and had a beard plaintiff ’ s it! The Voice have said about Scientology by Tony Ortega pretty good comedy to Nurses region! Because he was shot in the funny things judges have said of judicial officers in the jury or on the part. The higher judiciary, the one living with you has he lived with you Isle, Scotland a... Or not, it makes for some pretty good comedy yourself, it really does happen Isle... Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like far apart were the vehicles the... Corny Jokes you Ca n't Help but Laugh at your red and blue lights?. Funny things people said after waking up from anesthesia and he could n't pronunciate his words novels, he! Looked like in Court ” for more funny Court stories `` I have to kill Because... The collision your soul identify me. ``: now sir, I ’ m sure you are an and... Stopped the defendant was under the mask this video to 5K LIKES? she..., it really does happen this myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory to what prevented this being.

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